If either person is under the age of sixteen then it is illegal for them to have sex, even lesbian sex. It is unlikely that someone would be prosecuted for under age sex (if they were similar in age, both were consenting to the relationship and neither was seen as vulnerable) but it is important to remember that the law is there to protect young people. Apart from the legal side of things, it is important that people make up their own mind about when it is right to have sex.Many people are pressured into having sex, they feel they should, rather than they want to. Some don’t want to have sex for religious reasons others because they don’t feel ready or just because they don’t want to. If someone is asking you or your friends to do something that is against your beliefs then it could show that they don’t care for you as a whole person, or respect your values. Check out our pages Peer Pressure and When It’s Not OK to find out more. 

To decide if you are ready it is good to see if all the statements below are true:

• You feel you could say no if you wanted to and that would be ok – but you still want to do it
• You can have fun together without actually having sex
• You each want it for yourself, not for the other person or to fit in with friends or others’ expectations of you
• Nobody’s forcing you, pressuring you or making you
• You have discussed using contraception (this is still important for lesbian sex because of STIs)
• You have agreed what happens next and whether or not to tell your friends afterwards

You probably won’t be ready for sex until you can tick all of these boxes but remember that even once you are ready it still doesn’t mean you have to. Remember too that just because you’ve already had sex, it doesn’t mean you have to again. You can take some time out.

If you have a faith then check out our Faith pages to see what different religions say about sex.