Peer pressure is when you feel like you have to do something because everyone else is doing it.
Even though it may seem like everyone around you has had sex, you have to make your own decision and use your own judgement to decide when it’s the right time and the right person. Click here to read Carrie's story.
How to say yes, no, or maybe without looking silly:
Here are some phrases you can use if your partner tries to pressure you into having sex when you’re not ready:
'I like you but I don’t think I am ready for sex yet.'
'If you loved and respected me you would be ok with me saying no.'
‘I don’t want to risk a pregnancy and you probably don’t either ’
‘I want to wait until I’m married’
‘I want to respect my parents.’
‘I want to respect my religion.’
‘I don’t want to do anything I might regret.’
Am I frigid or gay?
When it seems like everyone else is having sex, sometimes people can accuse you of being ‘frigid’, or ‘gay’ if you are a boy, sometimes you can worry that it may be true. There is nothing wrong with taking things slowly and waiting until you are ready. It is much better, physically and emotionally, to say no to sex until you’re ready than it is to be rushed into having sex. (Link to no rush no regrets)
The decision to have sex or not
The decision to have sex must be a personal decision. If you’re not ready for it or if it’s not the right person, choose not to have sex. Sex is both a physical and emotional thing, and it’s important to protect not only your body, but your emotions. It’s OK if your friends value different things from you—it’s part of what makes people unique—but it also means that your friends may think it’s fine to have casual sex when you don’t. Remember that true friends respect your decisions, no matter what.
Sex should never be a pressured act and needs careful planning and talking about.
The decision to stop having sex
If a person has had sex before, that person can still make the decision not to have sex from now on, sometimes for religious reasons. Other people may try to pressure them into having sex again, making the argument that after someone loses his/her virginity there is nothing else left to lose.
When a person decides to stop having sex, for whatever reason, it is easy for his/her partner to feel hurt or cheated, and to accuse the other person of being selfish and unfeeling. These feelings may lead to a break-up because that relationship isn’t fulfilling his/her sexual desires anymore.
If you think your partner will break up with you because you won’t have sex with him/her, you may have to ask yourself whether it was a worthwhile relationship in the first place. Remember: your value and worth do not lie in your sexual appeal or in what other people think of you, but in how you view and respect yourself.