My friends boyfriend is asking her to take the next step (have sex). Should she or not? 

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If either of them is under the age of sixteen then it is illegal for them to have sex and whilst it is unlikely that someone would be prosecuted for under age sex, if they were similar in age, both were consenting to the relationship and neither was seen as vulnerable, the law is there to protect young people.

Apart from the legal side of things, it is important that people make up their own mind about when it is right to have sex. Many people, boys and girls are pressured into having sex, they feel they should rather than want to. Some don’t want to have sex for religious reasons. If someone is asking you or your friends to do something that is against your beliefs then it could show that they don’t care for you as a whole person, or respect your values. It would be good for your friend to look at some of the pages on our website Peer Pressure and When It’s Not OK 

It might also be good to see if all the statements below are true for her.

You feel you could say no if you wanted to and that would be ok – but you still want to do it

You can have fun together without actually having sex

You each want it for yourself, not for the other person or to fit in with friends or others’ expectations of you
Nobody’s forcing you, pressuring you or making you
You have discussed using condoms and contraception, and agreed what happens next and whether or not to tell your friends afterwards as well as talking about the implications if you become pregnant

You probably won’t be ready for sex until you can tick all of these boxes but remember that even once you are ready it still doesn’t mean you have to. Remember too that just because you’ve already had sex, it doesn’t mean you have to again. You can take some time out.

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